Argentinos en empresas yanquis (para los que hablan inglés)

[Kriminal]

From: Head Quarters
To: All Spanish Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage


It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Buenos Aires that offensive language is commonly used by our Spanish speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff.

All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1 - Words like "carajo", "la puta madre" or "me da en el quinto forro" and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.

2 - You will not say "la cagó" when someone makes a mistake, or "lo estan cagando a pedos" if you see someone being reprimanded, or "que cagada" when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb "cagar" are utterly innapropiate and unacceptable in our environment.

3 - No project manager, section head or administrator under any
circumstances will be referred as "hijo de mil putas", "guanaco", "mal
parido", "es una mierda" or "es una bosta".

4 - Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta de huevos" nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "cagón de mierda", "pelotudo" or "boludo".

5 - Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred as "pajas mentales" or "pendejadas".

6 - Do not say "cómo hincha las pelotas" nor "que ladilla de mierda" if a person is persistent; do not add "cagó fuego", if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say "cagamos" (refer to item # 2) nor "nos rompieron el orto" when a matter becomes excessively complicated.

7 - When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "andate a la concha de tu hermana" nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with "¿Qué mierda querés?".

8 - Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners "viejos chotos".

9 - Do not say "me chupa un huevo" when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer "chupame un huevo" when your assistance is required.

10 - You should never call partners as "puto de mierda" or "vieja
tortillera"; the sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms suchs as "viejo trolo", "la mira con cariño" or "mariquita".

11 - Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say "me la paso por el orto".

Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thank you.
The Head Quarters

[Pi-J]

Lindo

[*Wilcard*9437]

guat da fac!!

[bazan]

JAJAJAJAJAJAJA
me cague de la risa es na masa.

[r_lopezs]

HAHAHAHAHA, the fucking shit is GOOD!!!!!

[KaOSLiTo]

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAA
JAJAJAJJAJA
me re cague de risa mal!!!!
muy bueno che

[Wishmaster]

JUA JUA JUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, estoy llorando con estas:

7 - When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "andate a la concha de tu hermana" nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with "¿Qué mierda querés?".

8 - Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners "viejos chotos".

9 - Do not say "me chupa un huevo" when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer "chupame un huevo" when your assistance is required.

Y esta:

11 - Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say "me la paso por el orto".

MUY bueno.
Andaba medio bajoneado y esto me hizo reir un rato

[Old Shark]

Too old but very good.

Finally:

Get the fuck out of my face, o sea puedes retirarte estimado colaborador

[Suesaico]

jajajaj!!! ta bueno

[smaug]

la ultima es la mejor...